PARENTS IN ACTION

Excerpts from NY Times article, Rethinking Sex Offender Laws for Youth Texting, March 20^th, 2010.

In most states, teenagers who send or receive sexually explicit photographs by cellphone or computer — known as “sexting” — have risked felony child pornography charges and being listed on a sex offender registry for decades to come.But there is growing consensus among lawyers and legislators that the child pornography laws are too blunt an instrument to deal with an adolescent cyberculture in which all kinds of sexual pictures circulate on sites like MySpace and Facebook.Consider the following situations, we invite your comments.

1. In Iowa, XX is on the sex offenders registry because, at age 18, he was convicted of distributing obscene materials to a minor after he sent a picture of his penis by cellphone to a 14-year-old female friend who had requested it.

2. In Florida, YY. then 18, was charged with distributing child pornography and put on the sex offenders registry because after a fight, he sent a photograph of his nude 16-year-old girlfriend by e-mail to dozens of people, including her parents.

3. ZZ’s  story is very different from your typical “sexting” case. A photo was taken at a girls’ slumber party and shows her from the waist up lounging in her undies. At some point, it was mysteriously leaked to some boys in her school, and as it is passed around it is now a “sexting” situation.

In Nebraska a new law gives a free pass to children under 18 who send out their own photograph to a willing recipient who is at least 15. On the other hand, a teenager who passes the photograph on to friends could face a felony child pornography charge and five years in prison.

Teen Scene XXIV, Feb 10th, Give us your comments! (Please be mindful not to mention specific children, we have offered all the participants anonymity and want to keep it a “safe environment” for teens to speak out.)

Test prep in Manhattan appears to be a very profitable business, with some companies charging in excess of $500 per hour – for a tutor. Have these tutors unlocked secrets at the very heart of these tests?  Are there secrets to be unlocked, or is test success more a result of a motivated student and lots of practice? There is certainly no scientific study showing evidence one way or the other. But panicked parents are afraid to be left behind. To be sure, there are many NYC students who attend group classes or work with great tutors that they found on Craigslist or by word of mouth.  Anecdotally, it appears that these kids see improved test scores as well.

Are fancy test prep companies the “it bag” of the private school world?  Is there more value to be found in an expensive tutor relative to less pricey assistance?  Do colleges have an expectation that kids at NYC private schools must score higher than those at suburban public schools?   How did we even get to this place?  What can a panicked parent do?

Looking at my son’s class of 7^th graders I can’t help but notice the disparity in development.  Some of the girls began to develop in 5^th grade, and others haven’t started yet in 7^th. Some of the boys began last year, and developed into little (and not so little) men over the summer. It seems almost cruel that their bodies are changing more rapidly than their emotions and maturity can  keep pace.  My son is a “late bloomer” and has barely begun to enter puberty. He has some friends his size, but many others loom over him and could use a shave! And many girls with makeup and their uber fashionista clothes look sophisticated and older, belying the inexperienced 13 year old inside.

Of course all the children will go through puberty–now or in high school, but for the present moment, feeling “different” in any way, be it shorter, taller, more developed or less developed than your friends can prove disconcerting for even the most confident of kids.

Any thoughts to share for parents of early-developers/late-bloomers?

Welcome to Parents in Action official blog. NYC-Parents in Action is a non-profit, volunteer organization founded in 1980 to serve parents of New York City independent schools — a group of over 26,000 families. We’re committed to the belief that communication between parent and child is the most effective tool in producing a healthy environment in which our children can develop into mature and responsible young adults. We also believe that working together with other parents bolsters our confidence in our ability to make a difference.